Halloween Ball
by therubyone
Summary: This story was inspired by the intro to The Drake and Josh Inn. Drake and Josh go to a Halloween party at the Megadome. Humor/fluff. Rated: T for Teen, about gender roles, cross-dressing, relationships.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **_Drake and Josh_**, **the show and the characters, do not belong to me, nor am I seeking to profit in any way from this fanfiction story.

**Rating:** T for Teen (about gender roles, cross-dressing; humor, fluff)

**Title: Halloween Ball**

**Author:** therubyone

**Summary: **This short story was based on the intro to the Season 3 episode _The Drake and Josh Inn_**, **from which I created the drabble presented below as Chapter 1. Drake and Josh attend a Halloween party at the Megadome, sometime between Season 2 and Season 3. Here's a glimpse at one of the incidents they talked about (and I wished they had shown)!

**Author's Note:** Reader, please be advised that the style used herein is Third Person Omniscient, that is, the narrator knows and sees everything, and can move from one mind to another. 

_**Chapter 1. - Introduction (The Drabble)**_

**Halloween Ball****, **_Drake and Josh_**, Drake/Josh, prompt: nail polish, implied slash, Rated PG**

"Hold still, I'm almost finished" commanded Josh, applying nail polish to Drake's squirming fingertips. "Here's some lipstick."

"I can't believe you're making me do this."

"A bet's a bet!"

"But we TIED," Drake whined.

"I'm wearing the killer-clown-from-outer-space costume - _despite_ my morbid fears!"

"But the mask covers your whole head. I'm all exposed here."

"You've got black tights on."

"_And_ a green-sequined mini-dress!"

"You look gorgeous." Josh plopped a wig onto Drake's head.

"How do girls walk in these shoes? More important: what if somebody tries to grab my ass?"

"They'll have one big scary clown to deal with!"

CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **_Drake and Josh_**, **the show and the characters, do not belong to me, nor am I seeking to profit in any way from this fanfiction story.

**Title: Halloween Ball**

**Rating:** T for Teen (about gender roles, cross-dressing; humor, fluff)

**Author:** therubyone

**Summary: **Based on the intro to the Season 3 episode _The Drake and Josh Inn. _Drake and Josh attend a Halloween party at the Megadome.

**Author's Note:** Reader, please be advised that the style used herein is Third Person Omniscient, that is, the narrator knows and sees everything, and can move from one mind to another. 

_**Chapter 2. – To the Megadome!**_

Josh held up a silver-handled hand mirror that he'd borrowed from the antique vanity in Audrey's bedroom. "See, you look pretty!"

Drake appraised his reflection for hotness and decided that he didn't look half bad. Josh was a good salesman. Drake's initial reaction had been "NO WAY!" but Josh talked it up, told him it would be a chance to play a different role and that a little bit of acting experience would be useful to his rock'n'roll stagecraft. Those glam-rockers had all been gender-benders and it had worked for them. But now that he was dressed up and made up, the reality of prancing around in public as a girl didn't seem so appealing.

"Well, you have to treat me like I'm your date AND you have keep the mask on until I say you can take it off." Drake enjoyed taking advantage of Josh.

"Alright. Let's go. We'll miss the bus if you don't stop your yapping."

"Wait! Don't you want to see how frightening you look?"

"No, thanks, I'll take your word for it. Just come on!"

Josh's one-piece clown suit was yellow with red, orange and green stripes, ruffled at the wrists and ankles, sporting red pom-poms down the front. He pulled on the mask, the orange tufts of hair like any other clown's. But the face was hideous, with a gaping mouth full of sharp, jagged teeth.

Drake had a little black bag and he struggled to keep the strap in place over one shoulder without dislodging his bra, which held two oranges for breasts. He'd thought of that part himself. They were alone at the bus stop. Drake continued grousing as Josh fished around in his pocket for their bus fare.

"So, how do you like being a girl?"

"I don't know. The tights are comfortable, they hug your body better than even the tightest jeans I've ever worn, except I can feel a lot of air circulating, you know, around my legs and crotch. I just don't want anyone mistaking me for a real girl and _touching_ me."

"Anyone who gets close enough, they'll see that you have big shoulders and a large Adams apple, so they'll know you're not really a girl. We picked the opaque tights and long-sleeved dress to cover your man-hairs, so you wouldn't need to shave."

"How do you know so much about this, anyway?"

"When I was a kid, Grammy couldn't watch me all the time. She had a life, too, you know. So I got passed around the relatives. When it was Aunt Barb's turn, she took me to this all male drag revue she was producing. She was a lot wilder in those days, before she settled down with Rena and they opened their jewelry store. During rehearsals I got to sit backstage with all the drag queens and I watched what they were doing, as they got ready for the show. They were all really nice to me. I stayed in touch by email with a few of them. How do you think I got hooked up with the Miss Nancy dress and wig?"

"Gah! I was more interested in getting _rid _of it than questioning where it came from. Did Dad know that Aunt Barb was taking you to a night club?"

"Not at first. I think he was furious when he found out. I didn't see Aunt Barb any more for a long time after that. If Dad couldn't find a relative, and Grammy wasn't around, then he just started hiring people to watch me at home."

"You don't think Dad's anti-gay, do you?"

"Oh, no! His own big sister is gay and he loves _her_ to the max. He just didn't think his impressionable nine-year-old son should be hanging at a gay bar, singing show tunes with the performers."

The bus pulled up and Josh politely indicated that Drake should board first. Drake laughed as Josh tripped up the steps in the giant red plastic overshoes. He doubted that Josh could even see his feet through the mask's eyeholes. The bus was practically empty, heading downtown and away from the suburbs.

"Gawd, what if we run into people we know?" Drake mused.

"It's okay. Men frequently dress up as women for costume parties, because it's funny. That's what Halloween is all about, pretending and having fun. There'll be a ton of people at the Megadome. If we do see someone we know, they might not even recognize you. I doubt anyone would guess it's ME in here."

"We better have a plan."

"Right. If we get separated, just go to the concession stand on Promenade B, on the hour and half hour, until we meet up again."

"All I want to do is snag free candy and avoid getting hit on."

"Relax. You know we'll enjoy the bands and the magic acts. At least _**I **_will enjoy the magic acts. It's going to be crazy. The flyer said you have to go through the Haunted Gauntlet just to get in."

"I wish I was going as a hero who carries a weapon, like a lightsaber or a sword."

"You've got the ultimate weapon: feminine wiles! All you have to do is refocus your natural charm, the same way you get all those girls to do your bidding, just do it in reverse."

Drake wasn't sure how to do that, since he never stopped to think about his ease with girls: it was a given.

The boys got off at the stop nearest the San Diego Megadome and joined the gathering throng of costumed party-goers lining up at the down ramp of the underground parking garage. The Haunted Gauntlet was being staged in a darkened section of the garage, allowing the excited crowd to take a scary journey filled with thrills and chills before they emerged on the main level.

CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 3


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **_Drake and Josh_**, **the show and the characters, do not belong to me, nor am I seeking to profit in any way from this fanfiction story.

**Title: Halloween Ball**

**Rating:** T for Teen (cross-dressing, discussion of gender roles, humor, fluff)

**Author:** therubyone

**Summary: **Based on the intro to the Season 3 episode_The Drake and Josh Inn_. Drake and Josh attend a Halloween party at the Megadome.

**Author's Note:** Reader, please be advised that the style used herein is Third Person Omniscient, that is, the narrator knows and sees everything, and can move from one mind to another. 

_**Chapter 3. – Halloween Ball**_

Ninety minutes later, a breathless Drake hobbled up to the only killer clown in front of the Promenade B concession stand.

"You okay?" asked Josh. "Your wig is askew and you've got runs in your tights."

"Men are _beasts_!"

"What's the haps? I lost you as soon as the strobe lights went on in the Hallway of Serial Killers. I don't have good peripheral vision in this mask!"

"The one with the chainsaw chased me all the way into the Spooky Cemetery! After that, I couldn't find you."

"You made it out alive, at least. What's in the big garbage bag?"

"**_Candy!" _**Drake shook the bag with pleasure. **_"_**Lots of candy. I've been trick-or-treating all over the place. I had to work for this, I'll have you know. 'Give us a kiss, sweetie! Pucker up!' It's a wonder girls put up with guys at all. Grabby hands. Leering. It's intimidating!"

"Never mind. Just stick close to me. I've been having fun, scaring little kids when their parents aren't looking. It's a kick being evil! No wonder Megan enjoys it so much."

"Put your arm around me, quick! Here come those three jerks who were staring at my legs – one of them _pinched_ me!"

A teen wolf in a letter jacket, a tall wizard and a muscular ghoul leered and whistled at Drake as they passed by.

"Sorry, fellas, she's taken!" Josh called out, pressing a button in the palm of his glove. Red LED lights shone from just below the eye sockets in his mask, as he lurched at them, growling.

The offenders laughed and hurried along.

Drake relaxed. He felt safe now. "Since you're the bodyguard, you can carry my goodie bag."

"All right. But since you're the girl, go in there and freshen up your lipstick and powder your nose or something!" Josh gave him a gentle shove towards the ladies room. "And remember to sit down when you pee."

"Josh!"

In the girls' room, Drake looked in the mirror and adjusted the Bettie Page-style wig. He grinned at his reflection and wondered if Josh even knew who Bettie Page was. He had to admit, though, that Josh was full of surprises. Drake had always thought it was _Grammy_ who'd been teaching Josh all those annoying show tunes. He should have known; Grammy liked jazz and was way too cool for that. He looked inside the handbag to see what Josh had put in there: lip gloss, a powder make-up compact with a mirror, some tissues, even a little spray bottle of glittery Pineapple Wave body splash. Josh must've nabbed that from Megan. Drake got out the tube of Shimmering Raspberry lip gloss. He'd seen it done a million times. He busied himself trying to control the applicator while he eavesdropped on the chattering girls around him. It wasn't as easy as he thought, trying to hold it hand steady and not blob the goo all over the place. He blotted with a tissue, as he saw the other girls doing, and ran a tongue over his lower lip, tasting. He _liked_ raspberries, even sparkly artificial raspberries.

When Drake came out of the bathroom, he found Josh surrounded by a group of tweens. Josh was busy performing magic tricks for them. One of the girls was wearing a Susannah Louisiana outfit. Josh presented her with a bouquet of silk flowers that he'd produced from nowhere. Upon seeing Drake, Josh lunged at the giggling kids to shoo them away.

"How was it in the Forbidden Zone?" whispered Josh.

Drake replied, "I have to admit, that _was _an interesting experience! Girls talk about sex, just like guys do. Who knew?"

"If you watched more Oprah, you'd already know that. Anyway, I'm glad you're starting to enjoy yourself, after all your grumbling."

Drake waved the purse in Josh's face. "Uh, you forgot to put any _money_ in here. Buy me a soda?"

"Mocha Cola?"

"Since I'm a different ME tonight, I'll try . . . Himalaya Fog." Drake made a pouty face and looked up at Josh through his eyelashes. "Please?"

"You know you don't have to bat your eyes at me to get what you want!"

"Practicing."

Josh chuckled. He shuffled forward, prodding people with the big shoes to clear his path, and got on line at the concession stand, still holding Drake's treat bag.

Feeling a bulky presence looming behind him, Drake instantly regretted sending his protector away. He flinched and turned around to find a large gorilla invading his personal space. "I think you dropped this," said the primate, extending a gorilla-gloved hand, presenting a faux pearl clip-on earring.

"Um. Thank you. It must have fallen off. I'm just waiting here for my . . . big brother."

Drake clamped the earring back into place, then realized he'd lost the other one somewhere, too, as his fingers felt that the other earlobe was bare. After heavy makeout sessions, his dates were always complaining about missing earrings.

Josh returned with their drinks. He fumbled as he tried to contort a bendy straw up underneath the mask, since the mouth area had no opening; it was covered with black cheesecloth – only air could get inside. Josh was seriously heating up underneath the latex mask. He drained the cup in no time. "Let's go back to the main stage," he panted, reaching into the cup for the ice, which he slipped down his back.

"My feet hurt. I don't want to walk that far."

"Well, if we take the escalator up one level to the mezzanine, we could play some of the games." Josh had observed the exchange with King Kong. "Maybe we could win you a new pair of earrings while you rest your feet."

Drake concluded that Josh would make an excellent boyfriend and wondered why no girl had snapped him up yet. Josh was really good at it. He was attentive and considerate. Every time they hit a crowded area, Josh's hand automatically touched Drake's waist, firmly steering him past people and keeping any other guys from approaching -- although Josh _couldn't_ stop them from staring. Drake didn't think he could ever get used to that, men looking, as though they were entitled, as though they were exceedingly hungry or thirsty, and full of nasty thoughts. He seriously doubted that _he_ ever appeared that way to girls.

The boys played all of the carnival games, Drake dismayed because he wasn't winning anything. The clothes he was wearing were constricting in unusual ways. His skirt was so short, he had to be careful when bending over at the Skee-Ball. Finally, at the milk bottle toss, Josh won a pair of dangly plastic skeleton earrings. He handed them to Drake.

"There. Now you're back to perfection."

Drake took off the pearl earring and stuck it into the purse. As Drake clipped on the skeletons, he teasingly inquired, "Aren't you going to win me the bracelet that goes with it?"

"It might be too small for your wrist."

Instead, Josh produced another prize, a black adjustable spider ring. He slipped it onto Drake's right pinky finger.

"Let's sit down a minute. Something's in my shoe."

Drake was wearing a pair of black, one-inch heel maryjanes. They were dance shoes – minus the taps - with square, sturdy heels. Through Aunt Barb's contacts, Josh had carefully assembled the complete outfit. Josh knew that Drake would never be able to walk in stiletto heels. That took years of practice, he'd been told.

"Er, Drake, you can't just lift your leg like that. People can see right up your--"

"Let 'em look! It's hard work being a girl. Cut me a break." He shook out his shoe and re-fastened it, this time modestly leaning over to do so, instead of bringing his foot up into his lap.

"Rip Tide's playing next. Are you ready?"

"If you can get us some seats."

"All we can do is try. They removed a lot of the seating to make room for dancing."

"Well, let's just wander back through where they're giving away the candy. I won't be doing any dancing."

"Sure," agreed Josh. Lifting the heavy garbage bag, he added, "There must be at least ten pounds in here already."

Drake said nothing but glared. Josh sighed but took Drake's hand and pulled him along, shielding him with his body as they plowed their way through the streams of people.

Snaking their way down into the main arena, Josh managed to find an empty seat on the aisle. He pulled Drake down onto his lap and shoved the even heavier candy bag underneath the seat. "This will have to do. Now nobody can grab you. Can I take this mask off? I'm sweltering in here."

"Nope."

The boys turned their attention to the band. Rip Tide was rocking throughout their Halloween-themed set, and played two encores as the excited mass cheered and stamped their feet. Drake felt comfortable with an arm around Josh's neck and had a good view of the stage. What a weird night. Drake had anticipated amassing a stack of girls' phone numbers and making out at _least_ twice. That was before he found out Josh's choice for him. Drake had tried smiling invitingly at various half-naked girls in enticing costumes – genies, nurses, devilish divas, sexy witches and vampires - but they only returned his gaze with puzzled looks. Instead, he was linked to _Josh_ for the night. Almost like it was a _real _date. Was that how it was for girls, needing someone to keep the other men away, expecting their date to pay for them because they had no money of their own, and then being obligated to let their date be in charge? It wasn't fair. But, hey, _he_ didn't make the rules. He'd be glad to get back to normal; being the guy worked out just fine for Drake.

When Rip Tide left the stage, Josh told Drake that it was his turn to use the restroom; he led the way back to the concourse. Josh parked Drake on a bench by a bank of television screens, where continuous music videos were playing. Drake took his goodie-laden bag from Josh, who suggested, "Why don't you enjoy some of your treats while you're waiting? It feels like_ twenty_ pounds now!"

Michael Jackson's famous _Thriller_ video was playing, and was at the point in the footage where Michael said "I'm not like other guys."

Watching the screen, Drake started unwrapping a Megathon bar, again struck by the oddness of the occasion as he glanced down at his own hands, with their short, shiny black nails. He was surprised at himself that he didn't mind TOO much being on a date – sort of – with Josh. It was nice having Josh at his beck and call, like Josh belonged to him. But since Josh was his stepbrother, Drake _already_ felt that way most of the time. Dressed like this, somehow he was feeling a different vibe that he couldn't quite pin down. It made him feel – whatever. He decided it wasn't a feeling he wanted to contemplate, so he started eating chocolate as fast as he could. Nothing like a sugar rush to drive crazy thoughts away!

Josh was overheated and spent a long time in the men's room, first wriggling out of the suit so he could urinate, and then dousing his head in cold water at the sink. It would have to be okay to remove the mask for that. He wouldn't be any use to himself or Drake if he fainted from heat stroke! He aimed the hand drier vent at his face and enjoyed the cooling sensation as the water evaporated. With a sigh, he suited up again. After wiping out the inside of the mask with a paper towel, he pulled the monstrous visage back down over his skull.

"You were in there forever, man! Were you taking a massive dump?"

"Ladies don't ask those kinds of questions," Josh replied peevishly, flashing the red lights in his mask at Drake, almost wishing they really were cutting laser beams. A sea of empty candy wrappers surrounded Drake. Josh added "And girls don't_ litter_!"

"There are too many rules to being a girl," Drake replied, but started picking up the wrappers anyway. Josh helped Drake gather them up.

After they threw away the trash, Josh wanted to know "Is there anything else you'd like to see or do here? We have to get the bus back before it gets too late."

"Why don't we just call Mom and Dad to come and pick us up?"

"They probably aren't even home yet. You know they always end up staying late at the Schneider's parties. Besides, you said you didn't want our parents seeing you in this get-up."

"Well, that's what girls _do_ – change their minds."

While Josh made the call, Drake's attention was drawn back to the video on screen. It was an old one from No Doubt, _Just a Girl_. He'd never really paid much attention to the lyrics before.

_**'Cause I'm just a girl, little ole me  
Don't let me out of your sight  
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite  
So don't let me have any rights**_

**_Oh...I've had it up to here!_**

Walter's voice was barely audible. It was very noisy in the background – the same as it was in the Megadome. Based on the number of times he had to repeat himself, with the two of them practically shouting at each other, Josh surmised that Walter had been enjoying a few alcoholic beverages and that Audrey would be driving them home.

Using his best Reasonable Parent tone, Walter ended the call, saying "We can't get away just yet. You boys go ahead and take the bus home. It's a good experience for you to know how to use public transportation. We'll see you in the morning."

"They're not budging. It's the bus or nothing."

"Well, how about a taxi then?"

"Are you kidding? I don't have that kind of money on me! We spent most of it on the games already. A cab would cost at least thirty dollars!"

"You're a cheap date!" Drake responded, sticking out his tongue.

"And there's just no pleasing a 'date' like you! I have to hope that dating _real _girls will be easier and nicer. You've moped and complained the whole night." Josh was beginning to flail.

Drake felt a surge of adrenaline, the words of the song sticking in mind, as the high fructose corn syrup flooded his nervous system. He suddenly resented having to defer to Josh as the defender. The role playing had gone far enough.

"Why don't you just leave me here then, to fend for myself? You think I can't get someone to give me a ride? I'll bet I could even convince someone to buy me a beer or two!"

Josh didn't feel like trying to explain all the things that could go wrong. The image of petulant girl-Drake obstinately stamping his foot started to blur and multiply, as sweat stung his eyes, and he grew light-headed.

Drake felt his feet leaving the ground as Josh picked him up and put him over his shoulder. Drake braced himself with one hand against Josh's back and yelped, "Hey! Put me down!"

Josh didn't answer. He headed towards the nearest exit, relieved that they didn't need to leave via the Haunted Gauntlet. Drake continued his angry tirade, holding his heavy bag of candy in one hand and pounding Josh on the back with the other. Josh landed two hard thwacks on Drake's butt, loudly advising him to "_**Hush**_!" The sensation somehow managed to bypass Drake's indignation and connect with his brain. Drake stayed quiet until they got through the set of double doors and out into the night. Josh was thankful there was a slight breeze. Drake again erupted with a string of protests. There were two policemen talking near the bike rack. Josh sharply smacked Drake's bottom again, as a warning.

A skinny drunken pirate leaning against the wall hiccupped and called out to the boys, "That's right! Show him, I mean _her_, who's boss!"

Through gritted teeth, in a low voice, Drake snarled at the back of Josh's head, "I'll get you for this, that's a promise."

Josh could feel the tension in Drake's body and knew he was mad, but Josh was reluctant to set Drake down until they were safely on the bus and escape would be impossible. It was too late for the Express Bus. The local arrived right on schedule and the doors opened with a hiss. The bored driver accepted the damp paper transfers from Josh's sweat-drenched gloved hand and waved them down the aisle.

Josh eased Drake into a forward seat. Drake plunked his garbage bag down beside himself, blocking Josh from sitting there. Josh took one of the sideways seats, facing Drake.

"You thumped my rump!" Drake cried, indignantly. "How _dare_ you?!"

"You were making a scene. I wanted to get us out of there before Security got involved."

Josh pulled off the clown mask and gulped in lungfuls of air, breathing freely at last.

"I didn't say you could take that off!" screeched Drake.

Josh's damp locks were plastered to his head and rivulets of perspiration rolled down his face. He peeled off the white gloves and put them inside the discarded mask on the seat. Pulling a magician's endless handkerchief out of his sleeve, Josh started to mop his neck and brow with the colored squares. "What did you want me to do, Drake? We couldn't tussle it out like we do at home when we disagree. I couldn't let us miss this bus."

Hoping to engage Drake's sympathetic side, Josh continued, "While I was carrying you, I nearly passed out."

"You agreed that you wouldn't take the mask off until I said so!" fumed Drake, heedless of Josh's suffering, and wanting to be unreasonable.

"Dude. The party's over. Our 'date' is over." Josh made a gesture of finality with his hands.

"Fine! You're still a clown, though," barked Drake, while pulling off the black wig.

"And you're a boy wearing a dress and make-up," Josh retorted.

Drake put the wig back on. He folded his arms and looked out the window, scowling.

After a long period of intense silence, Josh quietly asked, "Drake, why did you pick this costume for me?"

Josh thought he was being ignored until Drake finally turned and met his eyes, saying slowly, "I wanted to help you. Help you get over your morbid fear of clowns." Drake didn't add that he also thought Josh's internal discomfort would be amusing.

"That's what I thought. You're always trying to help me like that."

What was it about Josh? He could just sit there so calmly and with a soft voice and his piercing green eyes, he never failed to disarm Drake and get past his defenses.

"That's what we do. We help each other," Josh reiterated. "I still think clowns are creepy, but I'm not as scared of them now. I had a good time being a clown, keeping people guessing, having the power to make them laugh or scream. So in the end, I learned something that I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for you."

"Why did you pick _this_ outfit for _me_, then?" Drake inquired.

"I wanted to give you a new perspective. Since so much of your life is concerned with girls, I thought it would be good for you to experience things from their side."

"But why? I like it just fine from my side."

Josh changed it up, wanting to get through to Drake. "Do you ever think about what kind of girl you'd want to marry?"

"That's light years away. I've got to become rich and famous first. Then I'll pick an extremely hot girl half my age to come live with me in my rock palace. We'll party every day, with champagne and whipped cream! We'll even have mink-lined toilet seats!"

"Not very practical!" murmured Josh. "Anyway, _**I **_think about it. I'd like to meet someone sorta like our Mom."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't even go there! Because _first_, Moon Unit, you'd better get your nose out of your crystal ball. Find a regular girlfriend, before you go planning your wedding."

"I will. Wait and see. I'll bet you I'll have a steady girlfriend before the end of the school year." Josh took off the plastic overshoes and placed them next to the mask.

"I really don't feel like making any more bets right now." Drake started rifling through his mega-haul. The topic of marriage and girlfriends was making him queasy. "Want some candy?"

"Diet, remember?"

"Sorry."

Drake looked at the spider ring adorning his pinky. "Was I really _that_ bad, I mean, as a 'date'?"

"Are you kidding? You are SO high maintenance!" laughed Josh.

Grudgingly Drake admitted "Well, _you'll_ probably make some girl an awesome boyfriend."

"I hope so! I'm anxious to try!" Josh replied, with a happy smile that anyone might find hard to resist.

Drake reached over and tapped Josh on the arm, saying "Let's move to the front, our stop's coming up.

CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **_Drake and Josh_**, **the show and the characters, do not belong to me, nor am I seeking to profit in any way from this fanfiction story.

**Title: Halloween Ball**

**Rating:** T for Teen (about gender roles, cross-dressing; humor / fluff)

**Author:** therubyone

**Summary: **Based on the intro to the Season 3 episode_The Drake and Josh Inn. _Drake and Josh attend a Halloween party at the Megadome.

**Author's Note:** Reader, please be advised that the style used herein is Third Person Omniscient, that is, the narrator knows and sees everything, and can move from one mind to another. 

_**Chapter 4. – "A kid ought to know his limits"**_

When Josh shimmied out of the clown suit, Drake could see the large patches of wetness on his red T-shirt. Drake felt a slight sense of remorse that he hadn't let Josh take the mask off sooner. Clearly, Josh _had_ been sweating profusely, and Drake had prolonged his suffering.

"If you promise not to take forever, do you want to shower first?"

"Absolutely. I'm feeling more like Aqua-Man right now than Ronald McDonald."

"Go ahead then. I'll eat some more candy, while I'm waiting." Drake sighed with satisfaction as he freed his feet from the shoes and sank down into their rose-colored old sofa. He wiggled his toes and stretched his legs. Then he dumped the candy on the coffee table, intent on sorting and organizing it – and eating it. He was still busy at his task when Josh returned.

"Bathroom's all yours."

Drake got up slowly; the candy was beginning to feel leaden inside him. Josh stood near the door, wearing his gray bathrobe and toweling his hair. Impulsively, Josh grabbed Drake into a hug and lightly kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry I had to get tough on you back there. It was my responsibility to get us home safely. I tried my best to make it a nice 'date' for you."

Drake automatically pulled away and rubbed at his face. But he was used to this kind of thing from Josh by now. What could you expect from a kid who spent too much time around Grammy and a bunch of other old ladies, old ladies who _lived_ to smother people with free hugs and kisses?! Secretly he'd gotten used to these affectionate displays, and Josh was generally good about keeping it private between the two of them.

Drake was glad Josh wasn't holding a grudge about being forced to wear the mask so long. Drake wished he hadn't been so mean about it and maybe if he hadn't eaten so much candy so fast then he wouldn't have gotten so upset that Josh took command of their evening. They'd talked about it before and both agreed that the guy needed to be in charge; of course, those conversations had taken place before _Josh_ had been in charge of _Drake_. Well, his parents each had their own areas of authority. Walter acted like he was in charge, when it came to bellowing and blustering at them about their various offenses. It was Drake's opinion that maybe his mother was actually the person more in charge of their family, but he figured that was peculiar to Walter and could not possibly be the norm.

When Drake returned to the bedroom Josh was dressed in his sleepwear and sitting at the computer, waiting on the printer. Drake stomped towards his stepbrother, holding a towel around his waist with one hand, and pointing to his face with the other. "Why isn't this coming off? I scrubbed. I used _soap_."

"Don't worry," soothed Josh. "You need to use make-up remover." Josh got up and squirted something from a pink bottle onto a cotton ball and gave it to Drake. "Just wipe this over the make-up."

Checking his reflection in the hand mirror, Drake was appeased. He quickly pulled on his pajamas, glad to be feeling like himself again. He still felt a bit weird _inside_, though, since all he could think about during his shower was a jumbled replay of the night's events: sitting on Josh's lap, feeling Josh's strong hand at his waist. As he relaxed under the stream of hot water, he recalled with pleasure the way the tights hugged his junk and how it made him feel _sexy._ He loved being able to make Josh do things for him without question or protest. Drake recalled the sick way all those guys checked out his legs and his oranges, and then he wondered how it looked to other people as they saw Josh's big white glove spanking down on his ass, lifted up high for all the world to see.

Josh's voice cut into Drake's reverie, "All better now?"

"Yeah." Drake hopped on the couch and surveyed his piles of candy.

Josh stuck a piece of paper under Drake's nose. "I made this for you while you were in the shower. It's a compu-calendar, to help you manage your candy consumption."

Drake looked up at Josh. "You've got to be kidding!"

"You've already eaten more than enough for one night. You don't want to barf, do you?"

Drake grabbed the paper out of Josh's hands and ran up the steps with it. He held the paper at arm's length, acting as though he intended to rip it in half. "Here's what I think of your calendar!"

Josh stepped up on the other side so he was level with Drake. "Don't do it!"

A mighty tussle ensued, the boys tumbling and thrashing about the room in their pajamas. Drake took an elbow in the ribs. Josh felt a foot connect with his kidney. The poking, punching, flicking and slapping gradually slowed as they rolled around, coming to rest back where they'd started near the bedroom door.

Josh spoke first. "I think I'm still dehydrated. I'm going to get a bottle of water. You want anything from the kitchen?"

"Water would be good."

They never talked about their fighting, but they both knew they always felt better after they'd finished relieving their physical aggression.

When Josh came back, he found Drake sitting on the couch, contemplating his mountains of candy. Josh handed Drake a bottle of water.

"Thanks. Uh, Josh, I put all that girlie stuff in the bottom of your closet. I must have stuck the calendar in there, too. Would you get it for me? I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a look at it."

Josh beamed. He wanted Drake to learn how to set limits. He opened the closet door and started rummaging. Before he knew what was happening, Drake had pushed him inside and locked the door.

"Drake! You let me out of here!"

"I'll let you out _after_ I finish eating my candy. You can't interfere from in there. Payback's a bitch, brotha, and I TOLD you I'd get even. You have to know, Josh Nichols, that YOU are NOT the BOSS of ME."

Josh rattled the door and pounded on the walls, wailing at the unfairness of it all. Drake turned up the volume on the TV and resumed his lovely _candy consumption_. Okay, so his stomach did hurt, in fact the tussling had really shaken things up in a bad way, but so be it. He had to show Josh it was ridiculous to expect him to eat only two pieces of candy per day.

Josh had dozed off inside the dark closet. The TV was off, but he was awakened by the sounds of Drake retching. Josh didn't know if he wanted to get out to help Drake or simply to throttle him. "Open this door! It's not _my_ fault you're puking your guts out. I warned you."

Drake only groaned in response. Drake felt wave after wave of nausea, each round of spewing heralded by cold sweat prickling out on his forehead and the back of his neck. His fingers tingled and his ears throbbed. His teeth hurt. He couldn't ever remember being so sick, even when he'd had the flu. He hated the awful burning sensation as vomit poured out of his nose; it was _the_ _worst_. He gripped the metal rim of the trashcan, kneeling over it, beside the sofa, and braced himself for the next onslaught. Sounding pitiful and apologetic, Drake whimpered "I can't move, Joshie, or I'll throw up on the rug."

Josh heard more splattering, followed by spitting, coughing, then moaning. It was terrible! Josh put his fingers in his ears until the room grew quiet. Thank goodness it was nice and cool in the closet. What a night. He yawned, then mounded up his bathrobe for a pillow, twisting around in a vain effort to get comfortable, and went to sleep.

THE END


End file.
